It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
