The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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