Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
