there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
