After last night, I could never be a politician.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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