and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
