yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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