Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
