??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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