Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
