now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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