I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize