If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
