How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
