your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
