bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
