You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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