Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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