Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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