so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
