I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Randomize
