I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The Olympian is in my bed
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
