i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Randomize
