No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
