My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
