she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
