WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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