The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
