doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
