you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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