i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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