So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
