Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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