Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
