So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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