he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
