I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
