I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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