I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
