I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
