I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
