While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
