They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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