Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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