I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Your dad touched me again.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
