I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
