sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
