In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Ketchup is God's man juice
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
