i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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