Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
