we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Your penis caused this!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
