i used baking grease as lip gloss
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
