Ambien. No doubt about it.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
