: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
